Rumors, Gossip and False Conjecture
by Roxius
Summary: A little, humorous pointless fic with onesided yaoi and some shoujo ai. PreGame. Shinji is sick and tired of Sho and his advances, so his buddies cheer him up with some of the local gossip going around. Please R & R and no flames!


"SHINJI, GO ON A DATE WITH ME!"

"Shinji, please go out with me!"

"Hey, Shinji, I want a bagel."

"SHINJI, MAKE ME MAKE LOVE WITH YOU!"

"BOOYAH, SHAKE THAT SEXY ASS! BING-A-BONG-DING-A-DONG!"

"SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIINNNNNNNNJJJJJJJIIIIIIIII!!!!!!"

Shinji Mimura A.K.A. The Third Man just couldn't take it anymore. It was bad enough that Sho Tsukioka (Shiroiwa's local fag) had a crush on him, but the gay guy's constant requests for a date was getting on Shinji's nerves. In fact, he met up with Yutaka, Hiroki, Shuya and Yoshitoki (A.K.A. Yoshi) during lunch just to speak to them about it.

"God, that stupid fag is just a pain in the ass...always hitting on me...it's gross!" Shinji muttered as he took a rather large bite of his sandwhich. Yutaka shrugged and replied, "Well, at least he's honest with his feelings...even if it IS a little gross..." Hiroki nodded as he cut into the steak he had brought from home (Why did he bring a raw T-bone Steak for lunch, anyway?)

"It's annoying, I admit, but it's not too surprising you have some male fans..." Shuya said enthusiastically, as if trying to find something positive about this whole situation. Jokingly flipping Shuya the finger, Shinji exclaimed, "Fuck off, man. You're the guy who can't keep his fingers off the fat girls!" Shuya knew he was talking about Kazumi Shintani (she was a little plump, he had to admit), but he just laughed in response.

Shinji scoffed and glanced over at the table that the "Kiriyama Family" was sitting at. Mitsuru, Hiroshi and Ryuhei were arguing over something pointless again while Kazuo just watched, as silent and enigmatic as ever. Sho, however, noticed Shinji staring at them and winked seductively. Shinji cringed and turned back to his friends.

"HE'S WINKING AT MEEE!" Shinji cried pathetically before burying his head in his arms.Yutaka tried to keep himself from breaking out into laughter as he went back to eating his hot cup of ramen. Trying to think of a way to get Shinji's mind off things, Shuya glanced over at Yumiko and Yukiko, who seemed to be staring quite lovingly at each other.

Shuya smirked and said, "You know...I heard that Yumiko and Yukiko are finally going out. Not too surprising, really...they're so close and all..." Yoshi and Hiroki both nodded their heads, still not saying a word. Suddenly, Yoshitoki remembered something revelant to their current conversation. "You know," he said with a little smirk, "I heard Mitsuko Souma, that crazy bitch, is actually bisexual. Plus, she has a bit of a crush on Takako Chigusa! She even wrote a love letter about it, too!" Hiroki twitched a moment when he heard Chigusa's name.

"...And how did you find all this out?" Shinji asked now that's he over the fact that he has some rather queer fans. Yoshi reached into his pocket and pulled out a pink envelope covered in heart-shaped stickers. "I swiped this from outside Chigusa's locker after I saw Mitsuko quickly try to slip it in!" 'Leave it to Yoshi to act like a thief...' Shuya thought sarcastically.

Hiroki looked up and snatched the letter out of Yoshi's hands. "Hey, what're you-" Yoshi started to ask, but Hiroki stood up and walked over to Chigusa's table. Although they couldn't hear what they were saying, Shuya watched as Hiroki spoke to her for a few moments before handing Chigusa the envelope and walking back to his seat.

"DUDE, WTF DID YOU JUST DO?" Yoshi cried furiously. His expression as serious and calm as ever, Hiroki replied, "I just gave that letter over to its rightful owner. I told her it was from Souma-san, too..." Yoshi just sat there staring at Hiroki in disbelief, his already wide mouth even bigger as it hung open.

'Just like Hiroki to be so polite as to use honorifics with the names of all the girls...' Shuya thought again as Yoshi let out a sigh and went back to eating. Shinji grinned and thought, 'Damn, it's good to have friends like these!' Little did he know that when he returned home later that day, Sho Tsukioka was butt-naked in the tub, waiting for him...


End file.
